


Harvard

by wtffangirl



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Depression, F/F, Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 14:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5208641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtffangirl/pseuds/wtffangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[I'm such Annalise x Eve trash I swear if I write one more fic I'm going to disown myself]</p><p>However I'm personally really interested in their past and their relationship while at Harvard and I know a lot of other people are as well. So this is essentially just that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. K-I-S-S-I-N-G

It was around noon when the alarm went off for the third time. “Fuck” Annalise muttered under her breath. She was already five minutes late for her Evidence class. This was the second time this week that she was late and despite her classroom being filled with what seemed to be hundreds of peers somehow her professor alway managed to notice when she was late. 

She grabbed her bag and ran out the door as fast as she could but no matter how hard she tried she was already late and her class was all the way across campus. About half way though a very tired and out of breath Annalise gave up and just decided to walk the rest of the way to class. Giving up was normally out of character for Annalise but more and more these days she found herself becoming a person she didn’t know. 

When she arrived outside the class she saw a tall girl with long black hair, a short flared out skirt, and a long sleeve shirt leaning on the door. Immediately when she saw her waiting a unintentional smile spread across her face. The other girl turned around at the sound of footsteps approaching. 

Seeing Annalise, the same involuntary smile spread across her face “Hey you. I was waiting. I got you a snack..” and it slowly faded anyway “Wait..You’re late again aren't you?” Her smile was now replaced with a caring sort of concern. 

“Yeah. I overslept.. again” Annalise looked down and played with the zipper on her bag a little bit. “But it’ll be fine, don’t worry about it” her attempt to be, or rather to seem, optimistic had failed miserably.

The other girl walked up to her and gently leaned her head up “Everything is going to be okay Annie” her voice was sweet and calming. Annalise wasn’t one for public displays of affection but she covered the girl's hand with her own and gave in to the comfort of her words.

“You’re right. Besides, I have you. How could they not be?” 

Their moment was interrupted by a boy around 5’7 with shaggy brown hair and dark eyes. “Annalise and Eve sittin’ in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g” he said childishly and with kissing noises to match. It was Jake, their friend and Eve’s best friends boyfriend. He was one of the few people that knew they were dating. 

“Can you not? I swear, you’re such a child” Eve rolled her eyes annoyed by the fact that he was intruding on their moment together. It was midterm season and they had both been so busy studying they hadn't had much time together. Annalise especially spent practically every second she wasn’t in class with her head in a book. It was no surprise she was oversleeping for class.

Annalise was less concerned with his infantile behavior and more pleased with the fact that she wasn’t the only one terribly late for class. 

“Lighten up. You know I’m just kidding. Besides no one’s around but us.” 

“I see I’m not the only one late for class. What’s your excuse?” 

Jake chuckled with discouragement “Who cares. You know how it is around here. There is no excuse.”

“Yeah I’ve been reminded of that an awful lot recently” 

A somewhat still annoyed Eve let out a huff and side eyed Jake “So are you going to go in or what?” 

Jake peaked inside the classroom to see the professor in full lesson mode. A hundred students with their pens going at the speed of light. “At this point... there is no point. What do you say we go to the caf?” 

Eve scoffed at the very idea of him not going to class but Annalise? That was outrageous, or so she thought. Before she could open her mouth with a smart comeback Annalise had already agreed and was getting ready to walk down the hall.

“Um Annalise?.. what are you doing?” Eve said standing behind.

“You know he’s right. That’s how these classes are. Besides if we go to the cafeteria then that gives me two whole hours with you instead. Now, do you really have to ask how I’d rather spend my time?” Annalise was convincing and spending two hours with her girlfriend did sound like the better plan.

“As a fellow student this is a terrible idea. As your girlfriend on the other hand..” she beamed a flirty smile and put her hand out for Annalise to hold and they were on their way. 

Once they got to the cafeteria Jake was called away by some of his suitemates and Eve for one was not complaining. 

“I guess you can eat your snack I got you now. They’re just strawberries. I know how much you like them” Eve slided a plastic bag full of bright red strawberries across the table. Annalise looked down at the table and then back up at Eve and smiled. Eve was one of the few, if not the only thing helping her keep her sanity these days. When Eve looked back at her she could tell something was wrong.

“Annie, is everything alright?” 

“I’m a little stressed, you know how it is. But right now I’m here with you, so everything absolutely perfect” she said picking up a strawberry and biting into it.

Just then a tall girl with long ginger hair, green eyes, and freckles walked past and brushed her hand across Eve’s back. 

“Hey Eve. You look nice today. I’ll see you in Administrative Law next period. “ She said it in passing paired with one of her perfect smiles.

It was Joanne Carmichael and Annalise hated her with every fiber of her being. She was the typical Harvard rich girl who didn’t really have to try to get in. Her daddy just had to make a ‘charitable donation’. She looked glowy and stress free even during midterms, but of course, she was just there for shits and giggles. She wasn’t like Annalise, she didn’t have anything to prove. But that wasn’t really the reason Annalise hated her or at least not the only reason. The real reason she truly couldn’t stand her was the way she flirted with Eve. It was subtle and in the perfect way that if she got mad she would look crazy but they both knew what she was doing. 

Eve flashed a smile and waved by default. She was a nice person and she was also stunning and brilliant. People flirted with her so much she probably thought that’s just how people treated one another. Normally Annalise wouldn’t care but combined with that fact that she was going off maybe a hour of sleep and was borderline failing two classes she was a little less secure. 

“Do you have to do that?” she said with obvious distain

“Do what?” Eve was genuinely confused

“Be so nice to her.. smile.. have little conversations... You know she hates me and besides she’s only being nice to you because she thinks you’re hot.” Annalise was picking a fight and she could hear her words dripping with juvenile contempt. She wanted to stop herself but it was like she had word vomit and it wouldn't stop coming out no matter how hard she tried.

“It’s nice that you think the only reason people are nice to me is because they want something from me” She had hit a sore spot with Eve. She always hated the assumptions people made about her. That she came from a rich family or she just got by in life because of how she looked. None of them were true and Annalise better than anyone knew.

“That’s not what I. Jesus. I’m sorry. I guess I’m more stressed about this whole school thing then I thought. But can we not fight? Please? You’re the only thing I look forward to anymore. I don’t want to argue” Annalise caught herself being a little more honest than she intended to. Everything in her life besides Eve was becoming dull and unsatisfying. Still the honesty seemed to work because Eve’s bleak face suddenly changed and she was back to making heart eyes at her. 

They sat in the cafeteria for about a hour and then went back to Eve’s dorm for about a hour. Annalise didn’t get any sleep but she was certainly in a much better mood for the rest of the day.


	2. Cross My Heart and Hope to Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're such a cute couple I couldn't help but get a little fluffy. I have a problem. I know. But I promise I'm going somewhere with this. But even if I wasn't who doesn't love a little Annalise x Eve fluff?

After some much need stress relief with Eve, Annalise was feeling a lot better. She had been to all of her classes right on time if not early and been the star student in all of them. Now it was time for her Evidence class which she hadn't been to since the previous week. She left her suite at 11:30 so she would have plenty of time to get there. When she arrived she found Eve standing outside looking over some notes. 

“What, do you just stalk this class?” Annalise joked.

“Well, there’s this girl who has it in about ten minutes. She’s just really brilliant and beautiful. I guess I kinda like her.” she said with a smirk

“She sounds wonderful. I’d love to meet her” 

Eve bit her lip and threw her arms around her waist. “She really is” 

She released at the sound of books and pens being shoved into bags and footsteps approaching the door. People knew about them whether they told them or not, or they assumed rather, but people seeing them be affectionate to one another always felt a little too transparent and made Annalise uneasy. She was already one of the only black students in her school and she didn’t want to be flaming bisexual too. 

“I have to study for accounting and financial reporting so I’ll be in the library all day but can I see you tonight? Vanessa and Channon are going out tonight so we’ll have the whole suit to ourselves. 

“I’m your girlfriend, of course” 

“You’ve been so busy lately I just wanted to make sure.” she said fighting back the urge to put her hands back around her waist. If it were up to her she would spend the whole day holding her.

“If Vanessa and Channon are going out who are you studying with?”

Eve hesitated and let out a small sigh “....Joanne” 

Annalise’s face quickly changed and Eve jumped to make it better. Thoughtlessly placing her hands back around her waist

“Annie come on. She has the highest grade in the class and she said she would help me.”

Annalise scoffed “You have the third highest grade in the class, you don’t need help”

“True. But I don’t want third best. I want to be the best. Don’t worry, when I take her spot as the best student we can lay in bed and laugh about it. I promise” 

She laughed at her perverse sense of humor. 

“Fine. I have to go but I’ll see you tonight” without thinking Annalise gave her a quick kiss and rushed to get a good seat in class.

She sat right in the front as per usual so the professor would see her first. When he walked in he looked around the room to take note of which students were missing and quickly put a question on the board.

“Based off this determine if it is hearsay or not, if hearsay is it admissible?”

40 students shot their hands up faster than he could finish the question. It was a simple question and Annalise knew that she knew it but her mind was going blank. It was okay though she would get the next one. 

“Ms. Harkness”

She looked around the room awkwardly. All of the other students were looking at her along with the professor.

“Um.. my hand wasn’t up..” That was the worst thing she could have said. You never tell a professor your hand wasn’t up especially at Harvard. 

“Ms. Harkness do you think I’m a fool? I can see your hand wasn’t up. But my question still stands.”

Annalise read the question what felt like forty times in two minutes. “It’s hearsay...” she said doubtfully.

“Are you asking me or telling me, Ms Harkness?” before she could answer he had turned his attention to the rest of the class. “What school is this?” the room full of students stayed silent for a moment until a girl sitting next to Annalise spoke up. “Harvard Law” She had wavy light brown hair and hazel eyes. She shot Annalise a quick smile out of sympathy. 

“Thank you Ms. Whitman. This is Harvard Law” he reiterated “The best of the best. You are here not by your choice but ours. If you cannot handle the simple task of coming to class or being on time then perhaps this is not the school for you. Because I assure you there are tens of thousands of people, all of which are possibly and likely more qualified to be here, dying to be in your seats. Don’t be naive and think it can’t be arranged.” He was looking at the class but you could tell that his words were directed at Annalise. She could feel everyone else looking at her and she felt like an idiot. More so she felt like she was going to be physically ill if she stayed in that classroom for another second.

The girl with brown hair looked over and whispered “Hey, don’t worry about him. He’s an asshole, but just think about how much more money you’ll be making than him once you get out of here” she gave her another comforting smile.

“Leigh. Shut up” the student behind her barked. 

Part of Annalise was amused but a bigger part wanted to go hide under a rock. But she decided to be strong and stick it out through the rest of class as best she could. The longer she sat the more she realized that she didn’t know any of the questions being presented. Which for some people that would be alright after all it was an honors class, but not Annalise. She had worked her ass off in high school to get where she was. Her first year at Harvard she was on top of the world. Her grades were impeccable, she had friends, she had Eve, for once in her life everything was going great. She should have seen the shitstorm that she was currently enduring coming. Nothing ever went right for Annalise and they definitely didn’t go great. 

Five minutes before class ended she could hear the professor's words swirling around in her head echoing and the the voices of all the other people who told her she could never make it joined in. She wasn’t smart enough, she wasn't pretty enough, she wasn’t good enough, no one would ever take someone who looked like her seriously. Suddenly she found herself feeling sick again and with the professors back turned to her she grabbed her bag and ran out of the classroom as fast as she could. Down the hall and around the corner to the nearest bathroom. She got down on her knees and stuck her head in the toilet. Gagging and retching sounds rang through the third floor bathroom. 

Her eyes watered and she couldn’t help but to cry. She felt helpless. In the middle of her breakdown she heard heels clicking from the other side of the bathroom over to her stall. She looked down to see a pair of black suede knee high boots, designer no doubt and looked up to see the ever so loving face of Joanne Carmichael. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.

“Aw.. poor little Anna Mae having a bad day?” Freshman year they shared a class together and she heard the professor call her by her real name before she had a chance to change it. The sound of her old name, coming from Joanne no less, was enough to make her want to start puking again. 

“If you’re too sick I guess I could tell Eve our study date could last a little longer. She seemed so excited that I offered to help. Which is funny considering she probably smarter than me.. I guess she just wanted to spend some time with someone who's on her level for a change. Can you blame her?” the ends of her mouth curved up into the most sinister smirk. Joanne was evil. She had no remorse for anyone and especially not Annalise. To add insult to injury she put her hand out as to help her up. 

“Go fuck yourself” Annalise said cleaning herself up and standing on her own.

“Wow it really is true.. you people are angry” she flipped her ginger hair and walked out of the bathroom. You could hear her heels clicking down the hall until she turned the corner and it faded out. 

More than anything she wanted to grab her by her hair and drag her down the hallway but one she truly didn’t have it in her and two that would just make things worse. She wanted to run to Eve and tell her how ever was treating her and how she couldn’t shake this feeling she had but she decided that she would wait. Today had been one of the worst days to date and all she wanted to do was go to take a nap and wait until it was time to see Eve. She had an extra key to her suit so she decided to just go sleep there since that’s where should would be spending the night.

When she opened the door she was greeted by Channon who was wearing a red onesie and putting her huge duffle bag by the door. She was taller than Annalise with a slim frame, black hair, olive colored skin, and blue eyes.

“Hey Annalise!” she said excitedly. “We’re getting ready to get out of your way. Eve was so excited when we told her we were going anyway to the weekend.. for obvious reasons” she playfully nudged Annalise’s shoulder. 

“Don’t worry I’m super early. I just had a bad day. I was going to hang out here until tonight if you don’t mind” 

“Totally. You know you practically live here anyway. If Eve could have things her way you would.” 

Channon ran to the back of the suite to change and Vanessa came out to place her bag with Channon’s. 

“You look like shit” Vanessa said jokely. Normally that would bother Annaline but Vanessa was one of her best friends and her crude sense of humor was how you knew she liked you. 

“I just got out of Professor Kelly’s class”

Vanessa turned her face up in disgust. “Honestly I don’t know why you torture yourself with professors like that. I hated him. It look everything in my power not to light his car on fire”

For the first time in a while Annalise actually laughed. “Jesus Nessa. You have to stop saying shit like that”

“You worry too much” she said putting her curly dark hair into a bun and looking in the mirror. She was wearing a white dress that complimented her skin tone and her dark features. 

By now Channon had come out. Her long black hair was straightened and she was wearing a Harvard sweatshirt and jeans. 

“Jake’s downstairs. I think we should go. You have everything?” Channon looked over the room once more.

“Yeah I think so. Let’s go before he starts bitching. Boys are so damn impatient.” both the girls gave Annalise a hug goodbye and made their way downstairs. 

Annalise was still in a terrible mood but being around her friends even if just for a moment made her feel a little better. She took off her clothes and put on some pajamas that she had left and got in the bed. 

Before she knew it she woke up and looked over at the clock. It was 9pm. She had overslept, of course, but where was Eve? Afterall this was her suite. She got up and looked around to make sure she wasn’t in the bathroom. Nope. There was no sign of her it looked like no one had been there since Channon and Vaness left. Then it hit her. Joanne. If she could count on anyone for anything it was on Joanne to be a raging bitch no matter what time it was. 

Pajamas and all Annalise made her way to the library to find Joanne and Eve sitting alone surrounded by textbooks. Eve looked up and saw Annalise’s face and smiled. Annalise on the other hand wasn’t as excited. But the look of aversion on her face caused a prideful smile to spread across Joanne’s face. 

“Hey babe, how are you feeling Joanne tol”

“What are you doing? We were supposed to be spending the night together remember?” 

Eve was a little taken back by Annalise’s anger. “Joanne told me you were sick.. she said you were throwing up earlier. I went to go check on you but you were asleep so I thought I would just let you sleep it off. Besides we have the whole weekend together.” 

Eve was like a puppy. It was impossible to be mad at her even when she deserved it but this time she didn’t. Annalise had forgotten that she didn’t tell her about her day or all the terrible things Joanne said to her. She had been awake for less than thirty minutes and she was already acting crazy.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell. When I woke up everything looked the same. I’m sorry” she said awkwardly “But it’s seriously late... come to bed.. please?” Annalise gave her, her best cute, innocent pout. 

Eve melted she could never say no to Annalise especially not when she was walking around in pajamas and giving her puppy dog eyes. You could see Joanne cringing underneath the surface of her blank face. 

“Fine. Are you feeling better though?”

“Yes and I’d feel even better in you were laying in bed with me” Annalise took her hand and pulled her out of the chair.

This time you could hear Joanne audibly scoff at how disgustingly cute they were being. 

“She’s right Joanne we’ve been here for hours. My head's starting to hurt. Thanks for the help. I really appreciate it.” 

Before Joanne could answer Eve had already picked up her bag and started walking away hand-in-hand with Annalise. Once they got back to their suite Eve put on a big t-shirt and they got into bed like they planned.

“What happened today? Why were you throwing up?” 

Annalise really didn’t want to answer. She had just managed to stop thinking about her horrible day and was taking pleasure is just being with Eve and holding her in her arms. But she had this little problem where she could never lie to her. There was just something remarkably sweet and inviting about the way she looked at her. She felt like she could tell her anything in the world and she would always be there to listen. 

“Professor Kelly kind of chewed me out... in front of the entire class. I got a question wrong.. well not wrong exactly I just didn’t know the answer. He told me “ putting on her best stuffy Professor Kelly voice “there are a bunch of other people more qualified to be in your seat and I can make it happen”

Eve was less amused by her imitation and more infuriated with the idea that a professor had threatened her girlfriend. 

“What is that suppose to mean? What a fucking prick. If he ever says anything like that again you have to promise to tell me. No one get’s to threaten my girlfriend especially an old bitter asshat like him” Eve wasn’t one to get upset but Annalise could see her getting flushed at the very notion that someone would even imply hurting her. That alone made her feel better. She thought about mentioning what Joanne said to her but that would just open an entire nother can of worms. Eve didn’t know about Anne Mae and she had no intentions of telling her. It was pointless. That’s not who she was anymore.

“If I knew how hot you were when you were mad I would have told you sooner” she gleamed. 

“Promise Annalise” a slightly less annoyed Eve pressed.

“Fine. I promise. I pinky promise.” she said in a childish tone.

“Cross your heart and hope to die?” she said returning her silly timbre. 

Annalise went over her heart with her finger in the sign of a X and repeated into her ear in a low and seductive voice “Cross my heart and hope to die”. She rolled over on top of Eve and placed a kiss on her lips, followed by kisses down her neck, and all over the rest of her body.


	3. Anna Mae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little longer than I wanted it to be but I really wanted to get to the point it does by the end. Also please excuse the typos. No matter how many times I proof read there always ends up being a few.

Annalise woke up to the sound of knocking on the suite door. She opened her eyes to see Eve wrapped in her arms, still fast asleep. Then she looked over to the clock to see that it was 5 in the afternoon. How did they sleep all day? she asked herself, but she didn’t really care. It was the most sleep she had gotten in awhile and she felt great. The knocking at the door continued and with a goan Annalise gently rolled out of bed so not to wake Eve and answered the door. 

A displeased Joanne stood on the other side of the door clearly less than happy to see a glowing, refreshed Annalise standing in her robe. “Is Eve here?” she said trying to maintain her demeanor. 

“She’s sleeping. I guess we kinda had a busy night” Annalise was unable to control the smile on her face. 

Joanne was obviously irritated her words from the other day, no matter how harsh, weren’t able to break Annalise. She would never admit it but there was always something about Annalise she admired. Her ability to always bounce back and and succeed despite all odds. Maybe that was why she hated her so much. 

“She forget her caculator last night. I was just bringing it back” she thought about fucking with her but it was apparent that there was no point, at least not right now. This less hateful version of Joanne almost humanized her, just for a moment. Maybe she was still sex drunk from the other night but she was too content with life to be mad at anyone, even Joanne. 

“Thanks. I’ll give it to her” she smiled “Is that all?” 

You could see her analyzing Annalise carefully trying to plot her next move but there was a change and the malice in her eyes faded away and was replaced with a rather placid expression. 

“Yeah that’s it. I’ll see you around, Anna Mae” and with that she turned around and walked down the hall. Her heels clicking with every step she took and her bouncy ginger hair shimmering in the light. 

A drowsey Eve stirred in bed “Annie?” there was a slight panic in her voice when she woke up and didn’t see Annalise. She looked over and came to. “There you are.” she smiled “Who was that and who was she talking to?” 

“Joanne and me. She came by to drop off your calculator.”

“Oh that’s nice. What was that she called you?” 

“Do you always listen to things when you’re asleep?” she said crawling back into the bed and giving her a kiss goodmorning.

“Do you always answer questions with questions?” She raised her perfectly arched eyebrow. Even during the first twenty minutes of being awake she was still ingenious. 

“Only when you’re asking me to talk about Joanne when I could be doing this” she said pulling her on top and kissing her lovingly. 

“You make an excellent point”

They laid in bed for a couple of more hours fooling around until Eve finally got up. 

“Did you eat anything today?” 

“No. Now that you mention it I’m starving.” 

“I think the dining hall is still open, let's go” Eve pulled Annalise out of bed and they made their way across campus to the hall. The entire hall was empty except for about two students. Annalise and Eve looked over the food trying to decide on something when Annalise felt a tap on her shoulder. 

“Hey you. You certainly seem to be doing better than the last time I saw you.” It was Leigh. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she was wearing a Harvard sweatshirt and pajama shorts. Even in her confused outfit and no makeup on she still managed to look cute. 

Annalise chucked “Yeah you could say that. I don’t know what was wrong with me.”

“ I do. Professor Kelly is an ass and it’s really is naseousing. It’s a miracle more people don’t run out in disgust.” she paused looking back to her friend who was waiting for her “But I’m really glad you’re doing better. You look even prettier when you’re not being tortured” 

Before Annalise could even say anything Leigh had said goodbye and ran back over to her friend leaving Annalise standing there with a smile. When she turned her attention back to Eve she was noticeably vexed. 

“I’m not even going to say anything” 

Annalise rolled her eyes and looked at her moping girlfriend “I thought I was the jealous one.” she said getting a slice of pizza. “It’s okay though. You’re cute when you’re jealous” she nuzzled her face into her neck and gave her a kiss. 

Eve blushed and grinned. “I’m not jealous” 

“Are so” 

“Am not!” they went back and forth like school age children before having to stop and laugh at themselves. 

“Do you two ever give it a break?” Joanne chimed in from behind. It looked like she had been standing there for a while.

“For someone who seems bothered you’re certainly around us an awful lot” Annalise sneered. 

“Don’t flatter yourself Anna Mae, you’re just standing in front of the pizza and I couldn’t get by. Now move” she said pushing her way past. 

Eve could see the look in Annalise’s eyes and she wanted to get her as far away from Joanne as possible. This was suppose to be their weekend and nothing was going to ruin it. 

 

“Let’s go” she said linking their arms together and walking out of the room. 

Once they got outside the hall and were on their way back to the dorms Eve stopped and thought about what Joanne had called Annalise and then she remembered earlier that afternoon that she had called her by a name that sounded an awful lot like the same thing. For a second she thought maybe it was just Joanne being Joanne and making petty jabs but there wasn’t anything mean about it. So why would she say it?

“Why does Joanne call you that? Ann”

“She’s just being a bitch I guess. Pretending she doesn't know my real name” Annalise cut her off because she couldn't bear hearing that name come out of Eve’s mouth. A moment after she realized that she had lied to Eve and she never lied to her. Was it a lie? Only sort of. In a way. But kind of not really. That’s what she told herself anyway.

Eve had no real reason to question her about it. So she shrugged her shoulders and they finished making their way back to the dorm.

They spent the rest of the weekend in bed and occasionally getting food but even that was barely a concern for them. 

The sound of the door opening on Monday morning woke them up. Channon bursted into the room throwing her duffle bag across the suite and snatching her book bag up. Eve jumped up at the sound of the intrusion. 

“What the fuck?” 

A tired and clearly aggravated Vanessa followed in shortly after. “Jake got us lost and now we’re late for class” she spewed.  
“Holy shit. What time is it?” Eve said jumping out of bed. 

“Administrative Law time. We have a test. Let’s go!” 

Annalise made a complaining moan at the sound of all the commotion, Whatever time it was she felt like she had literally just fallen asleep. 

“Annie get up, get up, get up!” she said pulling the covers off her. “You have Copyright Law and you’re late and I’m late and fuck we’re so late” 

By now all four girls were up and running around the room trying to grab their books and a pen. Then they ran as fast as they could half way across campus to class. Annalise was in luck this time though. This was Professor Lynn’s class and he was her favorite professor. She knew he wouldn’t care if she was a little late. Or in this case twenty minutes late. 

She opened the door and a hundred heads turned and looked at her and then she made awkward eye contact with the professor putting on her best sorry face.

“Annalise. Nice of you to join us. I was worried I was missing my star student” he said with a genuine smile “Please, have a seat” he gestured to the empty desk right in front. 

“I’m sorry. I was staying in the dorms all the way across campus” he didn’t ask for an explanation and he probably didn’t care but Annalise felt bad, like she had to explain herself. Maybe that was just the lawyer in her always wanting to defend things even when they didn’t need to be.

“I thought you lived in the ones right across from here?”

“Oh.. um... yeah.. I was studying with a friend and I fell asleep at her place” she said clumsily.

“Or having sex all night with your girlfriend” Jake mumbled under his breath just loud enough for Annalise and the professor to hear him. 

Annalise could feel her whole face getting warm. She had truly only been awake for fifteen minutes and she didn’t have it in her to deal with Jake. She looked down at her desk dreading the idea of looking at her professor right now or ever again for that matter. 

He left out a low chuckle and responded in the same volume that Jake had. “Well I’m glad to know my student’s are having more fun than I am. Afterall that’s what college is about.. that and copyright laws. Let’s not forget about copyright.” and with that he started his lesson.

Annalise looked up from her desk and showed a small smile. Followed by giving the evil eye to Jake from across the room. She knew he was just trying to be funny but he knew how she felt about little remarks like that. 

After class she got her books and was ready to walk out when she felt someone standing behind her. She turned to see Leigh with bright smile on her face. Her hair was done and she was wearing a nice outfit unlike the last time she saw her and she looked even better than before.

“I didn’t know we had this class together?” she said

“Well it’s a big class. You didn’t know who I was before” she got ready to continue walking out. Leigh was cute and sweet but the more she thought about it the more it did seem like she was flirting and that was wrong. That wasn’t the person she wanted to be.

“I heard that little crack that guy made before about you and your girlfriend” Annalise froze. “Is that true?” this conversation was getting incredibly uncomfortable incredibly fast. 

“Yeah. Well not the sex part. I mean not not the sex part but the all night long part because--” she cringed at herself. She always rambled and said too much when she was uncomfortable. 

Leigh laughed “Well I think that’s a very admirable quality”

Annalise felt her face getting all warm and fuzzy and she looked down. This was wrong, she was suppose to be picking Eve up from class. But at the same time Annalise was never on the receiving even of infatuation, at least not usually. People tended to overlook her. It’s not like she was interested in Leigh, she loved Eve and she knew that. But there was something about knowing how into her Leigh was. It was dark and seductive and it made her feel special, powerful, almost.

“I have to go get something out of my dorm. Would you mind coming with me? I get kinda scared walking alone” she said with a cheeky smile.

She should say no. She was smart she knew what to do. Just say no Annalise, she told herself.

“Sure” the words came out of her mouth as if someone else had control over her body. It would just take a second though. Only a second. She would be back to meet Eve in no time. Or maybe that was something she just told herself to ease the guilt.  
xxx

Eve looked around to find that Annalise wasn't there yet. In her mind she hoped that she didn’t get in trouble or something for being late and she wasn’t getting yelled at again. Annalise was always so sensitive about things like that and all Eve ever wanted was for her to be happy. She sat down on the couch in the hallway and decided to wait for a bit. As she was sitting she saw Joanne walk out of the classroom. Something told her not to say anything but her curiosity got the best of her.

“Hey, Joanne!” she said signaling for her to come over. 

For once in her life Joanne actually looked tired. Maybe being a spoiled princess wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

“Um are you okay” she didn’t mean to ask but it came out anyway. 

“It’s midterms. I’ve been writing upward of twenty pages a day and taking ten page test in an hour. What do you think?” Joanne was a bitch but never to Eve so she knew that she really had to be exhausted, or maybe her disease of a personality was just spreading.

“I’m sorry. I was just curious about something, why did you call Annalise Anna Mae the other day?” 

Joanna stared at her blankly “You’re kidding me right?”

Eve couldn’t help but look around the hall as if she was talking to someone else. She acted as if she didn’t just ask an entirely credible question. “No?” she said questioningly.

Joanne looked at her and let out a low dry laugh. “You mean to tell me you doodle Eve + Annalise all over the back of your notebooks like a five year old and you don’t even know your girlfriends real name? ...and I thought my relationship was fucked” Joanne looked at Eve with disregard and began to walk away.

Eve wasn't sure what she was more taken back by the fact that someone had actually caught her acting like a schoolgirl or the massive implication that she had just dropped. 

“What do you mean?” she called down the hallway.

Joanne threw her head back in disgust. “Jesus Eve are you really that wrapped up in her to see the truth? Ask your girlfriend.. if she’s even that anymore” 

Now Eve was full fledged pissed. She ran down the hallway and jumped in front of Joanne.

“What. the. fuck. are you talking about? her eyes were full of emotions. Neither of them could quite tell if it was rage or tears. 

Joanne laughed again but this time a little more genuinely “Calm down tiger. It was just a joke.. sorta. I just noticed that new girl Leigh seemed to be getting comfortable with her in the caf the other day”

Eve rolled her eyes “Stop trying to start shit. You’re just bitter because your relationship really is fucked.” she taunted before turning to walk away

Joanne adopted the anger that Eve had and grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her around so she was looking her right in the eye. “My relationship might be fucked but my boyfriend would never flirt with another girl in front of me and a least I know his real name. So tell me Eve, if my relationship is fucked, what’s yours?” her words cut like a knife and for once in her life Joanne seemed like she wasn’t being full of shit. She was angry and a pathological liar but in that very moment nothing seemed more real than what she had just said. 

By the time Eve got out of her thought’s Joanne was long gone and she was standing in the middle of the hallway. Annalise still nowhere in sight. She was alone. So she got her bag and ran back to her dorm fighting tears the entire way. When she finally got to her door she opened it so hard it bashed into the wall behind it and left a dent. 

“Jesus Christ Eve!” Vanessa exclaimed. 

Channon looked over half afraid when she noticed the look in Eve’s eyes. “....Eve....sweetheart what’s wrong?” Eve had been trying her hardest not to cry the entire walk over but hearing the concern in Channons voice and seeing the look on Vanessa's face made it too much to handle. She felt like she was going to just drop to the floor. Tears started flowing and before she knew it she couldn’t stop. 

Footsteps approached behind her and she turned around to see who it was part of her hoped it was Annalise but it was just Jake.

“Eve?” he said looking in shock. He didn’t do well with seeing girls cry. He quickly looked to his girlfriend and Channon for help to which they just put their hands up. 

Eve had been standing in the doorway with tears streaming down her face for a second now and had yet to say anything. 

“Do you think....” her voice broke “If...” Vanessa got up and put her arm around her she wasn't the most affectionate person but she could see her best friend was hurting.

“Do you think Annalise would cheat on me... or lie to me?” they all gasped except for Jake. 

“No! Of course not! What would you? how did you?” Channon said in shock.

“Eve that’s insane. Why would you say that?”

“I think she lied to me... it’s stupid. It’s about her name.. but who lies about their name and why? and if she could lie to me about that then why not about Leigh too?” 

Both of the other girls looked confused.

“Leigh? Leigh Porter?” Jake chimed in from behind. He looked more worried than both of the other girls.

“Yeah. I think so” Eve sniffled.

Jake just stood there awkwardly not know what to say.

“Jake?” Vanessa encouraged. “Why do you know who she is?”

He looked at the floor and stuttered. “Well.. it’s just.. I have class with her and Annalise and after class I overheard her invite her back to her dorm but I’m sure it was innocent” the truth was he heard the whole conversation but Eve was literally sobbing. 

Eve laughed “Yeah right.

Before anyone else could say anything Annalise walked half way into the room and then she saw Eve crying. 

“Eve! Oh my God what happened? Are you okay?” she said reaching to wipe her tears until she slapped her arm away. 

“Don’t touch me” she said harsher than she meant to but she didn’t care.

Everyone else in the room looked around at each other awkwardly. “We should go” Jake mouthed and the two girls got up and began to leave shutting the door behind them.

“Eve what the fuck is going on?” Annalise was in total and utter shock. She had never seen Eve act like this before, especially not towards her.

“You tell me Anna Mae” Annalise’s heart dropped at the sound of hearing her say that name. “Or maybe I should just ask Leigh I’m sure she would know”

“Leigh? I don’t even know her! I mean we have class together but I’ve only spoken to her like two times. I swear. Eve you’re being crazy” 

She bursted out laughing in disbelief. “So now you just lie straight to my face? Great.” For a second she thought maybe she was overreacting but the fact that Annalise had just lied straight to her face in the most convincing way was her breaking point. “Really? because I don’t go to people’s dorms when I don’t know them”

“No that’s not what I meant. I did talk to her today but that’s no”

The more she talked about it the more she got upset. She was still lying and talking in riddles and she started to question everything she had ever said. The more angry she got them more Joanne’s words kept repeating in her head over and over like a broken record. At this point she would do anything just to make it stop. She had stopped crying and all her sadness was replaced with rage. Rage because Annalise was suppose to be the one person in her life, the one thing, she could count on. Rage because the pain she felt radiating through her body was unreal and that’s what made it even worse. Rage because she would never, ever hurt Annalise the way she was hurting. She was done. Absolutely, utterly, and completely done.

“You know what Annalise, Anna Mae, whoever you are. I don’t care. I don’t care about you and I don’t care about anything you have to say. You’re a liar and you’re a terrible person. I always wondered why this, Harvard, awards, materialistic bullshit meant so much to you and now I know. Because you’re a horrible, horrible human being and there is nothing good inside of you. So you just go your whole life trying to fill this void inside of you because that’s all you have”

Annalise stood there in shock and emotionless. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to run up to her and give her a hug, she wanted to explain it all. But she was paralyzed and there was nothing she could do or say. 

“Get. out!” Annalise turned around and walked out of the dorm and Eve slammed it behind her and the bang echoed throughout the entire building. Somehow Annalise made it back to her own room. When she got there her suitemates were gone. She still hadn't felt anything. She was numb. For a second she thought she should go get Channon or Vanessa or even Leigh. Calling her mom at this point even seemed like a feasible option. She was in the same dark place that she was when she was a child. The place she fought so hard to get out of. The only difference was that this was a deeper, darker level than she could have ever imagined.


	4. Dear Eve

Eve woke up in the middle of the night. When she looked around Channon, Vanessa and Jake were all sleep. She looked at the time and it was 4:19 in the morning. She was a lot less angry and now she was just sad and hurting. What made it worse was that she wanted nothing more than to have Annalise laying next to her. She laid in bed for a few more minutes and the longer she laid the more she felt like she was going to puke. She couldn’t stand being this mad or hurt by Annalise, she just couldn’t. Even if her and Annalise weren't going to be her and Annalise anymore she needed to talk to her. She needed to say sorry for all the mean things she said. Part of her felt like she deserved them but she loved her too much to be able to sleep knowing she said such hateful things. 

It was freezing outside and she was still wearing her pajamas so she ran across campus to Annalise’s dorm as fast as she could. When she got outside her door she almost wanted to turn back but the worst day with Annalise was still better than the best day with anyone else. So she took a deep breath and opened the door. 

Annalise was laying in bed half asleep. She couldn’t help but watched her for a minute. She loved her so much and she hated herself for it. “Annal--” she cringed. How horrible was it that she didn’t even know her own girlfriend's name. 

“Baby” she whispered wiping a tear that was on her cheek. Clearly she hadn’t fallen asleep that long ago. 

Annalise opened her eyes a little more. When she saw Eve she honestly thought she was dreaming but she was too out of it to care. 

“I’m sorry” she mumbled 

Eve sighed. She almost wanted to be mad, because not being made just made her pathetic. Yet there she was without a ounce of anger. “....I still love you” it was the only thing she could say because it was the only thing that wasn’t a lie. She wasn't going to say she forgave her or she didn’t care. Because she did or else she wouldn’t be there at barely 5 in the morning unable to sleep.

“I’m sorry” she mumbled again. “it’ll be better when I’m gone” she continued her eyes were closed now. 

It took a minute for Eve to register what she had just said. For a second she thought she meant gone from her life, like, broken up. But when she went to stroke her hair she saw a open pill bottle on the nightstand out of the side of her eye. Eve had spent plenty of nights with Annalise and she had never seen her take pills. There was no reason for their to be a over half empty bottle next to her bed. She quickly got up and grabbed the bottle it was Prozac. Eve didn’t know much about pills but she knew what Prozac was for and a million ideas ran through her head. The label on the bottle read “Anna Mae Harkness. Take twice a day max”   
Why did Annalise have them? Why wasn’t the name on the bottle the same as the name on the school rosters? How many had she taken? Once she realized what was happening she ran back over to the bed and started shaking her. She wouldn’t open her eyes. She checked for a heartbeat and one was there but it was irregular. 

“Annalise! Get up!” she screeched over and over again. When she didn’t move she started to scream as loud as she could. She should of done something else but she couldn’t. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t breath. 

A girl ran over from the next suite “What’s goin--” she saw the now spilled pill bottle and Eve on the floor distraught. The tall blonde girl ran to get help and before they knew it the entire west campus was up and crowed outside of the doom room. 

xxx

“This is all my fault. Everything I said.. it was horrible.. it was so” she broke down and started crying for what felt like the millionth time. Her head was throbbing and her eyes were red and puffy. She couldn’t believe that she was sitting in the hospital waiting room not knowing whether her girlfriend alive or not. 

“Eve, stop. This isn’t because of you... something was wrong. It had to be. She’s been missing class, failing, ....not being honest with you... It’s obvious. If it’s anyone's fault it’s everyone's” Channon said with her head back leaning towards the ceiling. 

“Both of you stop. All we can do is pray” Vanessa didn’t believe in God but right now she had to believe in something.

Hours passed and no one came out to tell them anything until finally a tall man who looked to be about in his 40s came out in a white coat. 

“Are you here regarding Ms. Harkness?” he said looking at all three of the girls.

“Yes” Eve was the first to speak up.

“Well, by law I’m only supposed to talk to family...” 

“Then you’re talking to the right people” Vanessa shot back a little ruder than she had intended. 

The doctor looked around to make sure no one else could hear him. “Well, she’s stable. We had to pump her stomach, she took a lot of pills and we need to keep her for at least the next 24 hours. We usually keep attempted suicides longer but... we’ll see how she’s doing later.”

Eve’s heart shattered at the words ‘attempted suicide’. Her eyes were filling up with tears again and as her voice broke she thanks the doctor.  
After he walked away she looked at Vanessa “I’ll be right back... she’s stable.. that’s all that matters. I have to go take care of something.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll be right back” she said with no further explanation and walked off.

xxx

Her long black hair in a bun, red puffy eyes, pajamas and all Eve walked into her Copyright Laws class over an hour late. 

“Ms. Rothlo. I don’t know if you’re aware but this class started”

“Shut up” she said coldly. “Joanne, get up.”

Joanne scoffed at Eve and laughed. “Still mad about yesterday, cupcake?”

Eve walked up to the front row of the class and grabbed her by her perfect, shiny, ginger hair. “Get up!” she screamed. The entire class was silent even the professor. Maybe because they all hated Joanne or maybe because they were terrified of Eve.

Joanne screamed and stumbled out of the door as she was pulled. When she got in the hallway Eve let go and pushed her. She fell into the wall and hit her head. 

 

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” she said feeling the back of her head to make sure no hair was ripped out. 

“Annalise is in the hospital.” she muttered with pure hatred intricately lacing though every word.

“What?” Joanne had never shown compassion so it was hard to tell what it looked like on her, but if you had to give it your best guess you would be forced to choose the look on her face she had now.

“She tried to kill herself because of you. You wanted us to fight. You wanted us to break up. So we did and that’s what happened.”

“Eve... that wasn’t”

“Yes it was!” she shouted so loud it echoed through the entire building. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Maybe she did lie to me and maybe she even fucked Leigh but you know what? She will always be a better person than you and I swear to God if anything happens to her you won’t live long enough to regret it.”   
Joanne could feel her eyes starting to water and she didn’t know if she felt bad for what she had done or if she truly feared Eve. Before she could even say anything Eve was gone and Joanne was stuck in the hallway trying to gather herself together. 

 

Eve had been gone longer than she expected. Things with Joanne only took a moment but before she went back to the hospital she went to Annalise's dorm to get some of her clothes since the doctor had planned to keep her. While she was there she picked up the bottle of pills off the floor and flushed them all down the toilet. Which she was going through the drawers she found a note with her name on it.

“Dear Eve,

I just spent a half an hour deciding on what I should call you. I wanted to say something sweeter, less formal, but considering everything it didn’t seem right. There are somethings you deserve to know. I wanted to tell you when I was in your dorm but you were so mad and I didn’t know how. 

Anna Mae was some I was a long time ago and a lot of bad things happened to her. I didn’t want to be her anymore which is why i worked to hard to get away from her and everything that reminded me of her. Then I met you and for the first time I felt like maybe everything would be okay. 

Leigh.. I don’t know what I was doing. I don’t know if it’ll mean anything to you but we didn’t have sex. I don’t expect it to because I shouldn’t have gone to begin with. But if there's anything in the world I ever want you ever know about me, I want it to be that I love you more than I ever knew someone could be loved, and you make me happier than I could have ever dreamed. 

What I’m doing is something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I thought Harvard and maybe being successful could save me, overwrite the pain, but it just couldn’t. This isn’t because of you. If anything the reason I’ve lasted so long is because of you. But it’s time and the world will be a better place because of it.

I love you so much and you will always be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

After reading it she couldn’t help but to fall on the ground and sob for what had to be the hundredth time that day. How could she not have known? She felt like the worst person in the world but more than that she wanted to do everything she could to fix things for her, and she would. 

xxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on continuing but because of the cliffhanger in the last chapter I felt like I had to. I might add more if I get bored of it people ask for it. As always I'm posting in the middle of the night so please excuse typos.


	5. Courtesy of Yours Truly

Hours had passed and none of the girls had seen Annalise. The doctor came out around 6:30pm and told them that she was awake, responsive, and doing particularly well for someone who had just endured what she did. She would have to undergo a psychological clearance before she could be released and she should be home first thing tomorrow if all went well. However since she hadn’t had it yet he didn’t think it was in her best interest to have visitors. That was a lie. The real reason she wasn’t allowed to have visitors was because she had requested not to. She was exhausted and drained. She didn’t have it in her to look her friends in the eye and see all the hurt and worry she had caused them. Most of all she couldn’t bear to see Eve. Even though they hadn’t seen each other since their fight Annalise knew that she heartbroken by all of it. The pills might not that been enough to kill her but seeing Eve like that would. 

It was already dark and cold out when the doctor gave them the news and the hospital was pretty far from campus so they decided to start making their way back. 

Around 7:54pm Annalise saw the knob of her hospital suite slowly turning. Then it stopped. Then it turned again. Then it stopped. She started to get scared. She worried that it was Eve, that she had figured out some way to get to see her. Afterall was a convincing person. 

Finally the door creaked open and to her surprise it was Joanne. Maybe she had just been through too much to be angry anymore but a small part of her was actually happy to see her. She had been surrounded by nothing but doctors and nurses and psychologist all looking at her like she was crazy. And she had to pretend in front of all of them to make it seem like she was okay. It wasn’t like that with Joanne. 

“Hey Anna M... Annalise I mean” Annalise was taken back by hearing her call her by that name.

“Really? Now you want to play nice?” she laughed. It wasn’t a sarcastic laugh. She was actually amused by Joanne seriously trying to be nice to her. 

Joanne rolled her eyes. “Fine.. Anna Mae” she said with an attitude. She was trying to be nice but who was she kidding she was still her.

“Wait. How did you get back here? Let me guess you have the doctor a blowjob in the break room? Classy. Even for you” 

Joanne gagged at the very thought. “Jesus. I’m going to vomit. Does overdosing take away your ability to read?” 

 

“What are you talking about?”

“Look at your chart”

“...What?” Annalise said picking it up from the side of her bed.  
“Read the name of your doctor.”

“William Carmichael.... Carmichael...” she whispered to herself before looking back up at Joanne. “The irony is unreal” she said putting it back down. 

Joanne laughed loudly. It was one of those laughs people did when there was absolutely nothing funny. But something so tragic that laughter is the only way to respond. “Yup. That’s my lovely, lovely... father” the last word rolling off her tongue like it left a bad taste in her mouth. 

“How did you even know I was here?” 

“Your charming and apparently homicidal girlfriend visited me in class today. She had a nice little message she delivered while attempting to permanently rip the hair from my scalp.” 

Annalise was in disbelief. She could never imagine Eve physically hurting someone. She didn’t even kill bugs when she found them in the dorm and Annalise begged her to. She always picked them up and put them in the hallway. She was one of those people who believed even bugs had family and friends. Annalise always thought it was adorable.

“Well.. I’m sorry... As much as I hate you this isn’t your fault. It’s mine. Everything you told her was true. Besides even if it wasn’t...” she paused. “Wait. Your family is from Long Island. Why is your dad in Cambridge?” for a second she thought Joanne called in a favor because she didn’t want to be accused of murder if something actually happened. But then she remembered this was Joanne and she would rather have a murder charge against her than do anything nice for someone. 

Joanne looked around the room awkwardly. She was never one to bite her tongue so this was a new look for her. 

“He heard about an attempted suicide at the school... he flew in first thing.”

“Why would he do that?” Annalise was more than confused.

Joanne sighed and whispered “Come on Anna Mae you’re smart think about it”. Annalise couldn’t tell if she was whispering because she had actually just given her a compliment and she was afraid someone would hear it or if she was really afraid to say something for once.

Annalise thought about it for a second. Her dad was the best physician in New York and number three in the country. He wouldn’t just fly in because he cares so deeply around random suicide attempts. 

“.....He thought it was you?” it was the logical answer but it didn’t make any sense.

“Ding, ding, ding. I knew you’d catch on” for once you could see through her demeanor. Underneath all the sarcasm there was something that actually hurt her.

“Why would he think that?”

She paused “Look, I didn’t come here to have a heart to heart with you. But.. Senior year of high school I overdosed on painkillers. Let’s just say he felt bad... so I got Harvard, and all new clothes, and a new car, and a house, but I guess deep down somewhere he knows things like that don’t fix problems like ours.” she chuckled “but the guilt he has every time he hears about an attempted suicide at a college is pretty priceless” 

“Joanne... I’m sorry” as much as she hated her she couldn’t help but feel bad. She knew the kind of hate you had to feel for yourself to go through with something like that and it wasn’t something she would wish on her worse enemy, not even Joanne. 

She bit her lip and looked up at Annalise “Don’t feel bad for me. I don’t need you to. It’s just... I’ll always be Joanne. The little rich girl who got raped and had daddy paid her way through life. If I try or I don’t people are going to give me whatever I want. Nothing I have means anything and no one I have cares about me. Not the way people care about you...” she laughed bitterly again “No one will ever drag someone out of class for hurting me like Eve did for you. No one will ever sit in a waiting room for hours to know if I’m okay”

her voice stayed steady but Annalise could see the tears forming in her eyes 

“What I’m trying to say is..... you can be someone Anna Mae. You are someone. And you’re a much better person than me... if I deserve to be here so do you. So... get your shit together, okay?” Her eyes were full of tears but she refused to cry so she just stood there. 

Annalise was in shock. The past 48 hours had been the craziest hours of her life but nothing could have prepared her for this. 

“Joanne....” for once in her life she was speechless.

“You don’t have to say anything, honestly I wish you wouldn’t. Just... talk to Eve and clean up the shitstorm made courtesy of yours truly.” the ends of her mouth curved up into a smug little smirk and she turned to leave. As she turned the corner Annalise could see the tears finally fall and with that she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is because: 
> 
> 1\. I love humanizing the "bad" characters  
> 2\. This will tie into the next chapter which will be all about Annalise and Eve  
> 3\. I didn't want to do point 1 and 2 in one chapter and have it be too long.
> 
> Please excuse all typos as usual. Feel free to leave comments and kudos because they always remind me to update and give me new ideas.


	6. I Love You Too

Eve had been up for basically 48 hours straight. At some point in the middle of the night she crashed. When she woke up and looked at the clock and it read 1:30pm. “Shit” she covered her hands with her face and let out a long exaggerated breath. She should of been at the hospital. She needed to see Annalise and there was no way she was going to go another day without seeing or talking to her. She ran around the room frantically trying to find something to put on. In the midst of all the commotion she didn’t hear the suite door open and someone walk in. 

Annalise stood their quietly watching her run in circles. The pep talk she had given herself five seconds ago had clearly worn off. Part of her thought about turning around and leaving before Eve noticed her but no. This was something she had to do. 

Finally Eve turned around and when she saw Annalise she froze. They stood on opposite sides of the room for a moment just looking at one another. Annalise took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. 

“I’m so sorry... I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I tried to figure it out and I thought about it over and over but I don’t know. I just... I’m sorry and I would do anything to fix things. You were right before.. I do care about achievements and materialistic things. Maybe even more than I should but I would give up anything and everything for you. I swear” She was talking a mile a minute and part of her wasn’t even sure what was coming out of her mouth. But she knew that she meant it. All of it. If Eve had asked her to withdraw from school or climb a mountain or find the cure to a life ending disease she would have done it. 

“Stop” 

“But... Eve please.” she could feel tears filling up in her eyes. As bad as the past few days had been nothing would be worse than Eve not forgiving her. Even if they weren’t a couple anymore she needed her to forgive her. She needed her to know how much she meant to her.

Eve was standing less than a inch away now and her expression was somewhat of a blank stare it was hard to tell what was going on in her head and that scared Annalise. Maybe she hated her maybe she was still mad. She didn’t know what to do so she just stood there expecting the worse trying her hardest not to burst into tears but she couldn’t help it. 

Eve reached out and delicately wiped a tear away and looked into her eyes. So much had happened between them recently there was nothing that words could do. She caressed her face and kissed her. It was soft and passionate. It was filled with all the sadness and pain they had both been through the past few days but more than anything it was filled with love and remorse for the part in it they both played. 

To her surprise Eve wasn’t mad. She hadn’t said anything but Annalise could tell by the way she kissed her and touched her. It was sweet and delicate and loving. 

Vanessa, Channon, and Jake were all stuck making up the work from the classes they missed the last few days which left Annalise and Eve alone in the suite for hours on end to show each other just how sorry they were. Over and over again.

Eventually they both fell asleep and Eve woke up to Annalise in her arms for the first time in far too long. For a second she forgot about everything that had happened the past few days. Even when she thought about it there was no more anger or hurt. Which almost annoyed her a little. It was terrible how much she loved Annalise. It was like it was permanently encrypted in her dna. 

Eve nuzzled up to her and placed her head on her shoulder. “I love you too” she whispered softly. 

Annalise smiled to herself at the sound of those four little words but not too much. She didn’t want Eve to know that she was awake. The last few hours had been perfect and she didn’t want to ruin it. 

As she laid there she suddenly felt stupid for keeping things from Eve. It was obvious how much she cared about her. If there was anybody on the face of the earth she could open up to it was her. She couldn’t help but think about Joanne. Despite how much they hated each other she still told her about all the bad things that happened to her. If Joanne could tell her then she could definitely tell Eve.

Maybe not now because she was too busy enjoying the comfort of being in her arms but later on Annalise was going to tell her everything once and for all. There weren’t going to be anymore secrets and nothing was ever going to come between them again. She was going to make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter just because I haven't updated and I've been so busy. Also it was just really bugging me that they hadn't made up yet. Even though this a totally fictional story about two totally fictional characters I just needed it to happen lol. I realize how depressing the last chapter or two have been so after this you can expect something a little fluffy. 
> 
> As always excuse typos and feel free to leave comments and kudos. xx


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a few weeks since all the drama had finally died down. Annalise returned to all her classes and everyone was being a little nicer to her. It wasn’t the kind of pity nice that would bother her but more of a genuine understanding. Even Professor Kelly had pulled her aside after class and expressed his apologies for the way he had treated her. Before all this had happened she might have laughed in his faced or scoffed at the idea of forgiveness but she was truly accepting of his apology. This whole experience had taught her something, that everyone was a little fucked up in their own way, they just showed it differently. Joanne was probably the inspiration for her new outlook. She was being particularly nice recently. She gave her all the notes from class and told her all the questions that would be on the final. 

Annalise found herself happy. It was hard to believe especially considering the low point she had just gone though. But it was true what they say, the best part of hitting rock bottom is that you have nowhere to go but up. She was able to tell Eve about everything. Her childhood, her hopes, her dreams, her fears and when it was all said and done she felt a wave of relief. At first she worried that Eve would run away or be freaked out by how damaged she was. But instead she looked at her in the most loving way, and told her that she hated what happened to her as a child and it broke her heart, but she loved the woman she was today and nothing could change that. 

There were about two and a half weeks left until Christmas and while Harvard wasn’t huge on holiday they did get into the spirit a little. Eve was way more into it than Annalise but she thought it was cute. She went over to Eve’s suite at around 11:30 to find Channon, Vanessa, Jake and of course, Eve hanging Christmas lights all over the suite. It looked like a Macy’s Christmas display had thrown-up everywhere. 

“Look who decided to come” Vanessa said opening a new box of supplies. “You’re just in time to decorate the tree.” 

Annalise laughed “You’re kidding right?” 

“I wish I was, but your girlfriend is kinda crazy if you haven't noticed.” she pulled a few multi colored Christmas bulbs out of the box and put them on the bed.

Channon pulled a little tree out of the closet and dragged it into the common room. “Ugh.” she sighed. “Eve, I love you, I really really do but you’re own your own. If I see one more Christmas decoration I’m going to die.” 

“I’m with her. Besides Annalise looks like she's just dying to help out.” Vanessa smirked and pushed the box of bulbs over to her. 

“Have fun” they all quickly left the room before Eve had time to complain. 

“They’re just being stupid. You like my decorations, right?” Eve wasn’t one to complain or pout but she looked at Annalise like a child asking if you liked their drawing. 

“I love them” she put her arms around her waist and kissed her. “and I love you.” 

“I love you more.” she took a deep breath and looked around the room bittersweetly. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.. it’s just we never talked about what you were doing for the holidays. Channon, Nessa, and Jake are leaving to go home in a few days and....” 

Last year Annalise had gotten a ticket home before she even met Eve and they both agreed it would be stupid to waste. But later on she found out why Eve never went home for the holidays. Her parents were divorced and she wasn’t particularly close to her mom or any of her family really. With everything that was going on she had forgotten all about that. 

“I didn’t buy a ticket.. I’ve been too busy but now that I think about it why don’t I just stay?”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to. I’ll be fine. I could go home too. It’s not a big deal.” 

“I’m staying. It’ll be fun. It’s our first Christmas together.” Annalise’s face lit up at the thought. She wasn’t huge on holidays but holidays were suppose to be about being with people you love and there was no one she loved more than Eve. 

Eve bit her bottom lip trying not to look too excited but she was ecstatic. For as long as she could remember all her holidays were spent alone or at stuffy uncomfortable dinner tables. This was going to be her first real Christmas. 

“So I guess that means you’ll help decorate the tree?” 

Annalise smiled and looked over at the box of bulbs. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short and I already wrote a Christmas one shot for them but I love Christmas and I couldn't resist. Also I didn't know what else to do. So this happened.
> 
> As always please excuse all typos and feel free to leave comments and kudos. xx


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